Author Archives: Johnnette Benkovic Williams

Reflections From An Old Prayer Book

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Today on our radio program, Women of Grace Live, I shared a reading from a very old prayer book called Hail Holy Queen in a section called Counsels and Maxims. The prayer book was published in New York by P.J. Kenedy & Sons in 1928 with an Imprimatur by Patrick Cardinal Hayes, Archbishop of New York, on August 21 of that same year. The subtitle tells us it is A Book Of Prayer and Counsel For Catholic Girls And Women.

Though the writing hearkens back to an earlier day and time, the wisdom is everlasting. I am offering it to you for your consideration and prayerful meditation. To hear my comments about it as well as another reading from this gem of a book, go to www.womenofgrace.com and click on Podcasts. It is number WGL 1269.

Zeal, Industry

A Girl’s character can be pretty well judged by knowing what she does with her spare time.

The piety of a good girl will manifest itself not only in attending devotions, but, when necessary, in being willing to do her share in parish activities.

The Blessed Virgin was not afraid of spoiling her hands by doing household work, although she belonged to the royal family of David and was God’s most favored creature.

You may think you are able to take care of a husband’s home; but you are not, unless you are able to take your mother’s place in the work of your own home.

Those who dislike work in all its forms and phases, and who yield to their indolent disposition are like barren fig-trees, useless to themselves, to God and to man, fit only for the ax and the fire.

If the time that is wasted in useless or dangerous talking and reading, or in unnecessary rest and recreation, were devoted to the service of God and the salvation of souls, the whole world would be converted.

For the encouragement of those whose life is a daily grind of routine work, it should be remembered, first, that the world depends on patient faithfulness to such tasks; next, that the expert performance of simpler duties always fits one for higher and more responsible posts; and finally, that in the sight of God, and as far as our eternal reward is concerned, it is not what we do, so much as the intention with which we work that counts.

The obligations of justice should be discharged before generosity is indulged in. Therefore the satisfaction of debts and the performance of duties to those dependent upon us take precedence over the giving of alms to optional charities.

It is said that you can catch a thief, but that you cannot catch a liar; but for liars is reserved hell fire, as St. John warns in Rev. 21:8.

It is most useful to cultivate the friendship and companionship of other good girls, whose virtuous example and conversation will be an inspiration to higher and nobler life. “He that walketh with the wise shall be wise; a friend of fools shall become like to them.” — Prov. 13:20.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forgiveness

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“Our friends, then, are all those who unjustly afflict us with trials and ordeals, shame and injustice, sorrows and torments, martyrdom and death; we must love them greatly for we all possess eternal life because of them.”
St. Francis of Assisi

For Reflection:
What a counter-cultural way of looking at the sufferings imposed upon us by others! How have those who have burdened me with pain and suffering become conduits leading me to eternal life? Can I, then, refuse, to forgive them?

Forgiveness

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“If God has forgiven you your past, you have no right to continue clinging to it.”
Alex Rebello

For Reflection:
To what extent do I cling to my past and my past sins? According to this quote, why have I no “right” to cling to them? How can I begin to let go beginning right now? What does this say about my future actions, behaviors, and intentions?

Forgiveness

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“A man turning from an evil life is bound to be rendered desperate by the knowledge of his sins, if he does not also know how good God is, how kind and gentle, and how ready to forgive.”
St. Bernard of Clairvaux

For Reflection:
To what extent has knowledge of my sins rendered me almost desperate by knowledge of them? How has God shown me His goodness, kindness, gentleness, and readiness to forgive? Have I seen this expressed by a priest in the Sacrament of Penance? How and when?
 

Forgiveness

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“Forgiveness is not something that can be bought; those to whom it is offered are bankrupts. It is capital advanced to them, which they are to repay with an interest of tears.”
Father Ronald Knox

For Reflection:
To what extent have I shown myself to be a “bankrupt?” How has God’s mercy been extended to me (think in concrete terms)? What do I think it means to “repay with an interest of tears?” Have I exhibited this disposition of heart? When, how, and why?

Forming “Jiminy”: A Teacher’s Tale

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My special family friend has taught elementary school for over 30 years, most of those years with five year old kindergarteners. Through the years, she has witnessed a changing demographic. Not only are her classes more culturally, ethnically, and religiously diverse, but the lifestyles and home lives of her children have experienced a demographic shift as well — not for the better.

Currently, my friend has 14 students in her class. Of the 14 only  2 do not have at least one parent incarcerated. Two of her students are half-sisters, but they don’t know it — Dad impregnated two women at the same time. He’s not been around for either of them. And this dear person has had to call social service agencies any number of times since September because of dangerous information her children have told her.

Lest you think she teaches in an inner-city school, think again. She teaches in a neighborhood school in a suburb of a rather smallish resort city.

One of the challenges this special teacher faces is that few if any of her students have any real concept of right or wrong, socially acceptable behavior, moral truth. They’ve witnessed in five years more than most adults see in a lifetime. Good example? Please. Their solution to problem-solving is to throw things, have a temper tantrum or defecate. They’ve done it all in her classroom.

But, my family friend runs a tight ship. These babies come in spouting four letter words that would curl your hair and leave her class at the end of the school year reading, writing, doing math, and –yep — practicing manners.

It’s a transformation really. And this caring woman digs deep to help it happen. She hugs these babies, rocks them in a rocking chair, tells them how precious they are, rewards them when they follow through, and corrects them (sternly) when they do wrong.

And — she has Jiminy Cricket.

In the public school system, she can’t really talk about her Faith. She can’t mention Jesus, His saving act, or the eternal realities. It’s tough to help form a good conscience when situational ethics and political correctness legally prevail.

But, she can teach them the natural law. And Walt Disney is her aide with his katydid-like insect, Jiminy Cricket. You may recall that Jiminy is Pinocchio’s alter-ego, his conscience. He shows up to inform  the marionette of what he should and should not do. When Pinocchio listens to Jiminy, good things happen. And when he doesn’t — well, a heap of trouble follows.

My family friend tells her little ones the story and let’s them know they each have a “Jiminy Cricket”. She tells them their Jiminy is the little voice they hear inside that tells them right from wrong. With repetition, good effort, and reinforcement, they get it. They begin to heed the law God  has written on their heart.

Eventually, she tells them Jiminy has another name. “Conscience”. And they need to pay attention to their Conscience. Though the challenges remain, progress begins to happen. And a school year closes with more success than failure.

The kids are boomerangs, though. They move on to first, second, third grade, but they keep coming back to my friend’s classroom. They come for a morning hug, a treat, to hear a kind word, to talk about a problem, to help her set up for the day. They sing out her name in the cafeteria, flock to her after school, blow kisses to her when they see her: all the return of her investment and their good “Jiminy.”

These kids were born with strikes against them. Who knows how their futures will pan out. It will take heroic effort and courage for many of them to make it out of their environments.

But, they have experienced a teacher who has loved them, taken the time to show it, and has given them something for the long haul in addition to reading and math: the foundation for a well-formed conscience. And with that, they have a chance to really grow sturdy and strong.

We need more people like her — and far more “Jiminys” as well.

Forgiveness

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“One of the most perfectly constructed lines in English poetry is, ‘To err is human, to forgive, divine.’ How perfect is the balance of those words. They enshrine two of the greatest mysteries which, as Christians, we are bound to accept. The doctrine, I mean, that man, being what he is, can rebel against God; and the doctrine that God, being what He is, can forgive man.”
Father Ronald Knox

For Reflection:
How do the two “greatest mysteries” expressed by Father Knox encompass the whole of salvation history? How do they apply specifically to me? To what end do they prompt me?

Beauty and Grace In A Face

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skincare tips

The skincare industry can be kinda overwhelming, which is why we’re (always) here to help. And we totally understand your dilemma; with literally hundreds of innovative products being released each week and the discovery of another “must-have” ingredient, it can be hard to determine what products you really need and what’s just a trend. To guide you through the beauty-jargon on your quest for happy, healthy skin, here are  tips that cover ALL the bases.

Keep your hair happy and healthy all summer long using these natural, chemical-free methods.

Natural hair rules in the summer! Now is the season to let go of perfect, sleek hairdos and embrace that loose, natural look. Learn how to protect your hair from the heat, sun, and humidity without turning it into an endless battle.

1. Cover up!

Use a scarf or hat to cover your head when you’re out in the sun. Not only does this provide extra UV protection, but it also helps your scalp to retain moisture. A hat reduces damage caused by wind, especially if your hair is prone to tangling, and protects colour-treated hair.

2. Put your hair up in loose, comfortable styles

A messy braid is ideal for keeping your hair under control and minimizing exposure to the sun. Tight hairstyles can be damaging because they tend to pull and tear hair, especially if your hair is dry from the summer heat. Extensions are design to make your hair long, checkout these Kinky curly bundles of human hair.

3. Wash less often

Frequent washing strips your scalp of its natural oils, which in turn stimulates additional oil production and makes you feel the need to wash it even more. Try just rinsing in the shower after a day at the beach or pool, and see if that gets rid of some extra oil. Use a homemade or natural dry shampoo, such as cornstarch, in place of regular shampoo to go a bit longer without washing. Another quick fix is to dab a cotton ball soaked in witch hazel along your scalp to dissolve excess oil.

4. Reduce the heat

Try to blow-dry your hair as little as possible. It is already exposed to a significant amount of heat on a daily basis in the summer, and it will probably air-dry quickly anyways, so give the blow dryer a break and go au naturel if you can. Avoid flat-irons, too, as they will do further damage to already-dry hair. Plus, a sleek hairstyle only makes that frizz stand out more.

5. Spritz & Seal

Make a concoction of water, aloe vera juice, and avocado oil. Keep it on hand to spritz whenever a bit of moisture and/or control is needed. Another good option is argan oil mixed with water.

6. Condition always

Rinse with apple cider vinegar diluted in water for a quick natural conditioner. Use some coconut oil or shea butter (careful with this, since it can be heavy) to smooth, de-frizz, and moisturize your locks after washing. The oil will give some shine and, if you have wavy hair, create natural, air-dried curls. Try a natural deep conditioning treatment once a week to get that extra bit of moisture into your hair.

SkinCare

1.  Get to know your skin type

Understanding and getting to know your skin type is the most important thing you can do for your skin. If you’re unaware or misinformed, you could compromise your skin’s natural balance and trigger irritation, inflammation, breakouts, and even premature aging by using the wrong products. The most common skin types are oily, acne-prone, dry, sensitive, and mature skin; it’s also important to note that you can be more than one type and it can change over time or through the seasons, so always listen to your skin.

2. Make sure you know how to layer your skincare

If you don’t apply your skincare products in the right order you could prevent them from being fully-absorbed, which means they won’t be as effective. The general rule is to apply the most lightweight formulas first so they can be easily absorbed without the barrier of heavier creams. To avoid piling (those tiny little balls you get when you’ve used too much product), when you move onto thicker creams, give your skin time to absorb the product (at least a few minutes).

 

3. Don’t apply too much product

When it comes to skincare, ‘more is more’ is not a good rule. So if you apply too much moisturizer, the product will likely pill or could potentially block your pores. Plus, it’s a total waste of product and your money considering your skin won’t be able to absorb it all anyway! Make sure you follow this sizing guide:

4. Always double cleanse

Double cleansing is our fave K-beauty hack, and it’s completely transformed our skin. By cleansing twice, you’ll ensure all the dirt, bacteria, oil and pollution that’s built up on your skin during the day has been removed, leaving you with a thoroughly clean base for you to layer your nighttime skincare routine onto.

5. Never forget to do a patch test

Before you start using a new product, you should always do a patch test to avoid the risk of irritation or an allergic reaction. Just apply a small amount of product to your inner arm to see how your skin reacts to the formula.

6. Don’t use expired products

Hanging onto products past their expiry dates is a big no-no: It’s bad for you. Sadly, your beloved beauty products harbor bacteria (especially if you use them frequently), and these can lead to infections and irritations, not to mention, they don’t perform as well – we’re talking to you, gunky mascara! After a while, products can produce harmful toxins that can be dangerous to your health as well as your skin. As a general rule, if you can’t remember when you bought your face cream, SPF, foundation, mascara or eyeliner – get rid of it!