Commentary by Susan Brinkmann, OCDS
If you don’t know what the words “throuple”, “wedlease” or “monogamish” mean, you’re not up on the new terms of marriage in today’s culture.
The National Catholic Register (NCR) is reporting on a variety of news stories that document the emergence of a new language of marriage – one that reflects the steady erosion of the institution thanks to trends toward acceptance of alternative lifestyles such as cohabitation and same-sex marriage.
“Merriam-Webster is going to have to update the next edition of its dictionary, at least if marriage redefiners have their way,” said Ryan Anderson, co-author of What Is Marriage? Man and Woman: a Defense, in a column appearing in National Review.
“Do you know what the words ‘monogamish,’ ‘throuple’ and ‘wedlease’ mean? If not, you soon will. After all, the power to redefine words is the power to redefine reality.”
When it comes to marriage, our reality is indeed being redefined – and not for the better.
For instance, Ryan cites an op-ed appearing in The Washington Post in which Paul Rampell, a lawyer specializing in estate planning, suggests that we consider a new way to enter into a marriage – via a “marital lease.”
“Here’s how a marital lease could work,” Rampbell explains. “Two people commit themselves to marriage for a period of years — one year, five years, 10 years, whatever term suits them. The marital lease could be renewed at the end of the term however many times a couple likes. It could end up lasting a lifetime if the relationship is good and worth continuing. But if the relationship is bad, the couple could go their separate ways at the end of the term. The messiness of divorce is avoided and the end can be as simple as vacating a rental unit.”
So much for everlasting love.
A “throuple” is not too difficult to decipher – it means a threesome that decides to become a couple or, more properly, a throuple.
“Monogamish” is a term coined by Dan Savage, a sex columnist and radical gay activist who believes this term better describes the kind of monogamy – or should we say, not-really-monogamy – enjoyed by most same-sex couples.
“I acknowledge the advantages of monogamy,” Savage told a New York Times writer in 2011, “when it comes to sexual safety, infections, emotional safety, paternity assurances. But people in monogamous relationships have to be willing to meet me a quarter of the way and acknowledge the drawbacks of monogamy around boredom, despair, lack of variety, sexual death and being taken for granted.”
He believes fidelity should be reassessed because it gives married “people unrealistic expectations of themselves and their partners.”
This might sound hip and trendy to some, but experts have long been warning about the costs to society that will come about as a consequence of the destruction of marriage.
“Whatever we may think about the morality of sexually open marriages or multi-partner marriages or by-design temporary marriages, the social costs alone will run high,” writes Anderson.
“If a man doesn’t commit to a woman in a permanent and exclusive relationship, the likelihood of creating fatherless children and fragmented families increases.
“The more sexual partners a man has, and the shorter-lived those relationships are, the greater the chance he creates children with multiple women. His attention and resources thus divided, a long line of consequences unfold for both mother and child.”
Our society and our Church have a monumental task ahead in defending the institution and sacrament of marriage from encroachment by special interest groups. But it must be done for the faithful, the children, and the world.
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