Commentary by Susan Brinkmann, OCDS
A 27 year-old single gay man who was impatient to become a father was able to produce a son by resorting to an anonymous donor and his 45 year-old mother who agreed to carry the child to term.
The Daily Mail is reporting on the case of Kyle Casson of the UK whose mother gave birth to his son, Miles, in July of 2014. Even though in the eyes of the law, Miles is considered to be Kyle’s brother, the twisted ethical and moral issues don’t seem to bother the happy father.
“I understand that not everyone will agree with it, but they can have their opinions. I have a son and I am very happy,” Casson told the Mail.
“As long as people can provide a home, and they have the support, I don’t see why anyone should be denied the right to be a parent. Regardless of sexuality, gender, as long as you can provide for the child, I don’t see what the problem is. I paid for it myself, it’s not taxpayers’ money, I own my own home, I am going back to work.”
Casson, who is a supermarket worker from Doncaster, is admittedly the first single man in the UK to have a child through surrogacy and Anne-Marie Casson, his mother, is the first woman in the UK to serve as a surrogate for her own son’s child.
The whole process was started last year when he visited a clinic and began selecting the characteristics he wanted in an egg donor, such as hair and eye color. “You can choose everything from skin tone to IQ levels to whether they’re fat or thin, but I didn’t want to be that specific because it felt too much like I was choosing a designer child,” Casson says. “I just said I wanted someone with brown hair and green eyes like me so the child would resemble me.”
A donor with the right qualifications was found very quickly and five eggs were initially fertilized but only one lived long enough to make it to implantation. Mrs. Casson carried the baby to term and delivered it by Cesarean section last summer.
It has taken this long to straighten out all of the legal issues concerning Miles heritage.
“I’ve never thought of him as my brother,” Casson said. “None of us have. But when he was born, legally he was my brother. Just as legally, he was my mother’s son. That’s no longer the case. My mum and dad’s names are no longer on the birth certificate. I am the only name on the birth certificate, meaning that I am now his legal father as well as his biological father.”
The mother is listed as unknown.
Many people questioned the family’s decision to go ahead with this bizarre arrangement and Kyle admits they even lost a few friends over it, but he doesn’t care.
“I did not chose to be gay, I was born that way. I was born being unable to have kids. I can’t just go and have sex with a woman. Being a dad was a high priority in my life and now I have done it.”
As for his son, he promises never to lie to him, and will tell him about the bizarre manner in which he came into life at an appropriate time in his life.
Aside from seeing the many ethical and moral problems with this story, it’s hard to miss how many times, Casson uses the word “I” in his statement. This is no accident because this whole story is really about him, not the child. Notice how Casson readily admits to understanding the workings of natural law in that he can’t be father because he is same-sex attracted. He also knows better than to choose egg donor characteristics because it’s the stuff of “designer” babies, but he goes ahead with it anyway. This sounds like a very conflicted man!
Sadly, this will be his son’s lot as well. Miles will grow up without a mother, will perhaps be introduced into a same-sex lifestyle depending upon his father’s future relationship status, and he’ll be cared for by a grandmother who is actually his birth-mother. Talk about a recipe for confusion!
This is not a story about the marvels of modern science. It’s a story about a complicated mess that an innocent little boy will now have to live with.
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