In a report sure to bring heartache to many a carefree cohabiting couple, a new study has found that the key to relationship success is in making the decision to marry before starting a family.
The Marriage Foundation, which was established in the UK in 2012 by former High Court judge Sir Paul Coleridge, found that the relationships of 76 per cent of mothers who married before giving birth remained intact, compared to 44 per cent of those who married after they had their first child.
The research, by Harry Benson, Research Director of Marriage Foundation with analysis by Stephen McKay, a professor in social research at Lincoln University, used the latest data from Understanding Society, a UK longitudinal study that regularly surveys 40,000 households.
“This is really exciting new research which shows that education and age do not dictate the success of relationships as was previously thought,” Benson said.
A total of 92 per cent of the couples surveyed who remained intact after fifteen years were married. This number contrasts starkly with that of mothers who were cohabiting at the time of their first child’s birth of which only 31 per cent had avoided family breakdown by the time their child reached their early teens.
“It barely seems to matter if women are younger or older, degree educated or not; so long as they make a plan for their future and marry before starting a family, they have a really good chance of making that relationship last. It stands to reason that there’s one system that works best. It’s one that worked for years,” Benson said.
“While it is right that we have done away with the social shame of having children outside marriage, we should not lose confidence in the value of crystallizing commitment before starting a family. The message of this research is clear. For any couple thinking of having children, their best chance of staying together in the long run is by getting married first.”
This is only one of many studies done in various countries that have determined that cohabitation and other forms of noncommittal relationships which are so prevalent in today’s society do not improve a couple’s chances of a successful relationship but actually diminishes their prospects for living “happily ever after.”
Sir Paul Coleridge, director of Marriage Foundation, says governments need to get behind programs that strengthen marriage.
“The myths and misperceptions, such as that cohabitation is as stable as marriage should be eradicated by clear public statements and education. Governments cannot legislate directly for stronger families but they can foster the right environment and so make a real difference.”
For instance, the UK governments spends 46 billion pounds a year on family breakdown programs which are mostly due to the increased tax credits and benefits which are awarded to single parents, and to the costs of fighting increased rates of juvenile delinquency and crime among people from broken homes.
“It is therefore firmly in the Government’s interests, as well as individuals’, to tackle the worrying rise in family instability in the UK.”
The Marriage Foundation is also calling for a cabinet level Minster for Families, a tax and benefit system that supports marriage and sustained relationships, a fund to promote relationships for both children and adults and a complete modernization of the family law system.
See full report here.
