By Susan Brinkmann, OCDS
Staff Journalist
A soon-to-be released Gay Couples Study, which found that nearly half of all homosexual marriage involve routine infidelity, is prompting some to suggest that this may be the way to save traditional marriages.
According to an article appearing in The New York Times, new research at San Francisco State University tracked 556 male couples for three years and found that almost half said they have sex outside of their relationship with the full knowledge and approval of their partners.
“With straight people, it’s called affairs or cheating,” said Colleen Hoff, a certified “sex therapist” and the study’s lead investigator, “but with gay people it does not have such negative connotations.”
Some homosexual men and women claim the absence of monogamy actually allows them to have a stronger, long-lasting and more honest relationship.
“And while that may sound counterintuitive,” writes the Times’ Scott James, “some experts say boundary-challenging gay relationships represent an evolution in marriage — one that might point the way for the survival of the institution.”
It goes on to say that non-monogamous same-sex couples have rules such as complete disclosure, honesty about all encounters, advance approval of partners, and no sex with strangers.
Joe Quirk, author of the best-selling relationship book, It’s Not You, It’s Biology, which explains why monogamy is not necessarily natural, says this kind of transparency can make relationships stronger.
“The combination of freedom and mutual understanding can foster a unique level of trust,” Mr. Quirk told the Times.
“The traditional American marriage is in crisis, and we need insight,” he said, citing the fresh perspective gay couples bring to matrimony. “If innovation in marriage is going to occur, it will be spearheaded by homosexual marriages.”
The Times article definitely paints the picture of non-monogamous relationships in much rosier terms than real life.
In spite of the “rules” about not having sex with strangers, research has found that the non-monogamous lifestyle of homosexual couples has caused staggering health problems in this population such as anal cancer, syphilus, gonorrhea and hepatitis A and B. For instance, one study, conducted in 1996, found that even before the AIDS epidemic, the average life expectancy of a homosexual man was only 48 years. It’s now down to 38 years with only two percent of homosexual men living past age sixty five.
Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council is outraged by the conclusions being drawn about the study. By trying to convince people that infidelity is good, the study “only exposes the mockery this movement is making of marriage. They want access to marriage only to destroy what should be its defining characteristic: fidelity!”
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