My landscaping was ravaged by the last frost that hit the Tampa Bay area. I’ve done nothing about it, fearful that we might get one last blast.
Everything outside my windows looks dead. Brown and decaying. It is sad, though somehow strangely right, to have things dead-looking during Lent. It seems liturgically correct.
For me personally, the sad exterior of my home and the liturgical season are more than “strangely right.” They are fitting. And perfectly match the landscape of my heart.
The past five Lents have been particularly poignant for me and have settled into my being like another self. Five years ago, during Lent, my son, Simon, was killed in a vehicular accident not long after he returned to the States from Iraq. Two Lents ago, my husband, Anthony, was in the last days of his life. Brain cancer. He succumbed to a coma on Easter Sunday morning and died three days later.
The lens of life turned brown then, like the shrubbery outside of my home.
And every Ash Wednesday, without a conscious thought to the past, brown comes back and paints the inner recesses of my heart in somber tones.
It’s a funny thing about those shrubs, though. They don’t tell the whole story. My limited vision sees only brown, but another color is working its way through them. Green.
Lent doesn’t tell the whole story either. New life is coming. Resurrection.
And my heart’s landscape is short-lived, too. Blossoms are on the horizon. Hope.
On my son’s grave marker is the passage Revelation 21:5 — “Behold, I make all things new.” And so He does. My God takes brown and makes it shimmer with gold.
Easter is coming.
I, too, lost my husband to cancer during Lent two years ago. Upon reflection, I feel an “extra” blessing to be able to truly unite my pain to that of Christ and of His Mother. Thank you for sharing this reflection!
Lent must be so far for you. You are such a stong and beautiful woman. I admire you so very much. You have made it possible for Cathoic women to have a study of their own in our faith. I have, like so many other women have had to go to protestant women’s study goups because there were no Catholic ones. You have made such an inpact in the women of our faith. Thank You!
Johnette, Thank-you for sharing such a tender part of your heart with this blog entry. The passing of your beloved son and husband falling into a coma during the Lenten season is so perfectly planned by our loving Heavenly Father. The Liturgical seasons are such a treasure of our Faith. Every year we can learn something new with each season/Feast Day. A new friend of mine will complete her Initiation with Eucharist and Confirmation and she said that she feels like she can’t completley grasp all the season of Lent has to offer and it will be ending soon! I told her not to worry because there is always a new season to contemplate and new Feast Days to celebrate! How glorious our faith is and how perfectly it matches the times of our lives. Julie
Johnnette, your March 18 posting was such a blessing in explaining how your faith has sustained you in this and future Lenten seasons. I have not suffered such a great loss of a husband and a son as you have, but I hope that, through your example, my faith and hope will be strong enough to get me through the sorrow and pain. Thank you for all you do in your ministry as an advocate of femininity. We surely need Mother Mary’s example in these dangerous times. God bless you!
God Bless you and your ministry Johnette. Lent is a time for me to recognize how much I take my life for granted. I see how much I’ve disappointed God and myself the past year (so many good intentions). I also see this as my New Year, when I make my real New Year’s resolutions.
Thank God for your wonderful shows. I don’t get to watch often, but when I do see or hear them, it always pertains to what’s going on with me at that time! Is that God-incidence or what?
Take it easy
Lotus
Much like you I enter into brown during Lent, but more of a desire to grow closer to God and His church. This year, however, has been special because God has allowed me to see Him reflected in others, and so His light shines brightly on my brown bleaching it out to a beautiful mauve. Two babies are expected in the Spring this year one from my Godson and the other from a dear friend; and new life, so tender, reflects the ever present love and care of an awesome God. May your Easter be special this year, Johnette. God bless you and your ministry.
Great site this womenofgraceblog.com and I am really pleased to see you have what I am actually looking for here and this this post is exactly what I am interested in. I shall be pleased to become a regular visitor 🙂