By Susan Brinkmann, OCDS
Staff Journalist
A new study has found that children conceived by in vitro fertilization who do not know their biological fathers struggle with questions of identity and suffer from higher rates of depression, isolation, delinquency and substance abuse compared to children raised by two parents.
According to Spero News, a new report by the Commission on Parenthood’s Future entitled, “My Daddy’s Name is Donor: A New Study of Young Adults Conceived through Sperm Donation,” is the first examination of the identity and well-being of the now adult offspring of sperm donation. It found that these children often struggle with serious losses from being purposely denied knowledge of, or a relationship with, their sperm donor biological parents.
“Many people think that because these young people resulted from wanted pregnancies, how they were conceived doesn’t matter to them,” said Elizabeth Marquardt, co-author of the report.
The study found just the opposite. Two-thirds of donor-conceived children believe they have a right to know the truth about their origins and almost half say they have concerns or serious objections about donor conception.
As a result, of the 30,000 to 60,000 children born each year via sperm donation, by the time many of them reach young adulthood they are exhibiting higher rates of confusion, isolation, depression, delinquency and substance abuse than those who were raised by their biological parents.
Many are also plagued by fears and problems unique to their situation. For instance, more than half said that whenever they see someone who resembles them, they wonder if they are related. Nearly half fear being attracted or having sexual relations with someone to whom they might be related.
One donor-conceived child, Alana Sveta, who tells her story on FamilyScholars.org, says she often tells people her father is dead to avoid having to tell them the truth – that she was conceived by a sperm donor – something she considers “creepy” and “disgusting.”
“It embarrasses me,” she said.
Sveta said that other donor children feel the same as she does, but have remained largely voiceless. “It’s just that we, the children, haven’t been empowered to vocalize our issues yet. The needs and concerns of our mothers and their partners have trumped and stifled our own,” she said.
In an interview with the Catholic News Agency (CNA) about the study, Fr. Thomas Berg, Director of the Westchester Institute for Ethics and the Human Person, said the study raises all kinds of issues.
“I think this is one of those 800-pound gorillas that’s been sitting in the room for a couple decades now,” he said, and admits that the findings do not surprise him. “The need for connection with the biological parents is a much more powerful kind of thing than many people realize.”
He explained that the assisted fertility industry has “grossly underestimated the need that people have to make that connection” and the result is “a huge gaping hole” in the self-understanding of those children conceived without such a connection.
“Human beings need to be grounded,” said Fr. Berg. “We need a story that tells us who we are and where we came from. The human person can’t develop fully and normally [if they are] lacking that narrative.”
To prevent causing further harm, Fr. Berg recommends that we eliminate the possibility of people coming into the world through sperm and egg donations.
But this will require an entire change of mindset, he said, as society must “rediscover the genuine God-given meaning of sexuality, marriage and family.”
Renewing our understanding of this three-fold relationship is essential, he explained. “The whole meaning, richness and importance of that for culture has been utterly disregarded.”
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