LC writes: “Could you shed some light on Twin Flames? Is it possible in the eyes of the Church?”

The twin flames theory is based in New Age spirituality and would not be acceptable for Christians.

For those who have never heard of it, the concept of Twin Flames is based in a belief that two persons can share the same soul. Although it’s often thought to be the same as a “soul mate,” the two are vastly different. A soulmate is someone with whom we feel a deep connection based on similar beliefs and experiences. A twin flame is someone who we believe is actually the “other half” of ourselves, a concept based in the belief that the soul can incarnate into two separate bodies.

Although it was popularized in modern times by Elizabeth Clare Prophet, the founder of the New Age organization known as The Church Universal and Triumphant (CUT), the concept originated in Greek mythology dating back to the fifth century B.C. In a speech by the Greek comedic playwright, Aristophanes, he claimed that humans were originally made with two faces, two arms, two legs, and two pairs of genitals. One day, the gods began to fear their power and decided to split them in two, thus creating the human form we know today. Thereafter, humans were doomed to spend the rest of their lives searching for their other half.

Of course, there’s no truth to any of this, but New Agers insist twin flames “are a thing” and have created these so-called signs that you’ve met your twin flame:

• You feel a strong connection to the person and “may even feel like you need or crave this person.”

• You feel like you’ve known the person forever.

• With the exception of twin flames who are platonic, familial, or even professional, you may experience intension romantic passion for this person which produces bodily reactions such as sweating, racing heartbeat, and trembling. The intensity of these feelings are unlike any you have ever felt for another person.

• You are unable to control your feelings for the person. “Even if you try to repress your feelings, you likely won’t be able to when it comes to your twin flame, and it’ll be very hard not to think about them. You might even meet a twin flame even if you’re already in a relationship with someone else.”

• Upon meeting this person, the inner sense of longing is fulfilled and you feel whole again.

Even though there is no scientific evidence for any of this, Prophet popularized the notion during the 1970s and New Agers have been advancing the idea ever since. Aside from being based in pagan mythology, mental health experts say the so-called “stages” of twin flame relationships could lead to abusive relationships because they include areas of past traumas that the two persons share and attempt to heal, such as neglect, abandonment, or violence of some kind.

This is because they believe twin flames are like “mirrors” of one another, a person will see their reflection in their twin flame which may not be comfortable if it presents areas they are not ready to face, such as fears, insecurities, and unprocessed trauma. This has the potential of reopening reopening unhealed wounds, which can create a kind of constant tension between the two as they try to grow and heal together.

These tensions will arise in the so-called “turmoil or testing period” when the initial euphoria of the meeting wears off and they begin to see one another’s flaws and differences of opinion, which could cause turbulence in the relationship.

In the “runner and chaser” stage, one person attempts to get out of the relationship to “take some time off” while the other chases after them and tries to resolve their issues.
This period of provocation and turmoil is followed by the “surrender and dissolution” stage when the twin flames become more comfortable with one another’s insecurities and wounds.

Finally, in the “oneness” stage, they “enter a stage of acceptance where there is more empathy and understanding in the relationship. In this stage, it is common for twin flames to find a shared passion, cause, or meaning.”

It’s easy to see some elements of toxic relationship dynamics in the twin flames that could lead to abuse.

“People may use the ideology [of twin flames] as an excuse for toxic behavior. However, in healthy relationships, people try not to intentionally hurt or abuse others,” MedicalNewsToday explains.  “The runner and chaser stage shares similarities with emotionally abusive relationship traits like stonewalling  and gaslighting. Contemporary spiritual communities and forums promote that runners in this dynamic are commonly males, while females are often chasers. This presumption may promote antiquated gender stereotypes.”

Twin flame relationships may also tend toward codependency with one person determining their self-worth as defined by the relationship. Or a person may overlook their partner’s negative behaviors and feel obligated to stay in the relationship even if their twin flame is exhibiting toxic or abusive behavior. Also concerning is how a person may deliberately try to dig up their twin flame’s past traumas to heal them even though they may not be qualified to deal with the emotional and psychological trauma this could cause.

“People may romanticize unhealthy relationships and label them as twin flames to justify them and normalize toxic traits,” the article warns. “Some individuals who believe in twin flames may do harmful and unsafe behaviors. Some stalk their perceived twin flames. They may also fail to notice or discard the healthy relationships present in their lives. Others delay going into relationships and marriage, believing they are supposed to be with their twin flames.”

The bottom line is that everyone, not just Christians, should avoid getting involved in the twin flames movement. Aside from being based in pagan beliefs about the creation of man, it could open the door to abusive relationships that may not end well for either party.

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