God Wants the Worst from Us
Not long ago, a woman aspiring to sanctity and holiness of life shared with me that she received a beautiful gift from the Lord on her birthday. It was during her time of prayer when she seemed to "hear" the voice of God deep down in the inner recesses of her heart.
This is what she heard:
"Let me love you, my daughter. Let me love you in those areas of pain, in those areas of shame, in those areas that seem to be the refuse of your life. Let me love you there."
She continued to share with me that these words were confirmed for her when she meditated on the Office of Readings from the Liturgy of the Hours. A verse from Psalm 46 and one of that day's Antiphons conveyed to her that God was seeking permission from her to heal her, dwell within her, and make her holy. "Be still and know that I am God," she read; and then, "The Most High has made His dwelling place a Holy Temple." Joy flooded her heart and inebriated her soul.
I could relate to her words.
I once had heard something similar in my own time of evening prayer. I had been complaining to the Lord that I had nothing to offer Him that night. It seemed that it had been a day more laden with frailties and weaknesses than gifts and strengths. As I lamented, I seemed to hear Our Lord say, "Johnnette, what I want from you is your frailty and weakness. Don't you see? That is all you have to offer me. Anything that is good in you is Me already." What an amazing word! What a gift to see!
God wants all of us. He desires to make us His dwelling place, His tabernacle, His holy temple. By surrendering to Him all of those areas of pain, sin, weakness, imperfection -- all of our debris and refuse -- He can enter us more fully, transform us more completely, conform us to His image more nearly.
What are your areas of refuse? Where have you stuffed your debris? Surrender it all to God. He wants to be all in all of you.