Interventions voiced by auditors of the Synod on the Family - delegates who participate in discussions but do not vote - gave a powerful glimpse into the families of the world – their hopes, their dreams, their failings and their triumphs.According to Vatican Radio, a report published yesterday contains the statements made by various Synod auditors on various topics that offer a poignant view into the family life of our brothers and sisters around the world whose troubles and triumphs are remarkably similar to our own.
For instance, Brenda Kim Nayoug of South Korea spoke of what is known as the “Sampo generation” in her country. This is the generation that chooses to forego courtship, marriage and childbirth. “Many of the young generation have given up these three things because of their social pressures and economic problems. There are so many young people who are suffering due to unemployment, they unfortunately postpone their marriage, and forget that marriage is a calling given by God,” she said.
“Dear Fathers, married life is a long journey. There might be lots of possibilities to get lost or to be wounded on their journey of life, therefore the Church should open up and truly accompany us at the various stages of our married life, so that we do not give up but instead find for ourselves the beauty of the Christian family”.
A Peruvian pediatrician named Edgar Humberto Tejada Zeballos spoke about all the couples he sees who believe that having children is a right rather than a gift from God. They often “resort to measures that aside from violating morality, cost innocent lives, such as in vitro fertilization, in which many embryos are eliminated, burned, frozen or sold.” He ended his statement by calling upon the Synod Fathers to clearly mention the threats these practices pose to the family.
The Fathers also heard from the national president of the Catholic Women Organization in Nigeria, Agnes Offiong Erogunaye. She spoke of the enormous contribution of women in an African society that has been wracked by violence from the Boko Haram insurgency in recent years.
“From my experience with women in this difficult moment, I can boldly say that although the man is the head of the family, the woman is however the heart of the family, and when the heart stops beating the family dies because the foundation is shaken and the stability destroyed,” Erogunaye said. “In Nigeria, Catholic women are not just homebuilders. They are a strong force to be reckoned with when it comes to spirituality and economy, and growth in the Church.”
Sister Maureen Kelleher from the United States of America quoted from the Instrumentum laboris which calls upon the church to instill a sense of “we” in which no member is forgotten.
“I ask our Church leaders to recognize how many women who feel called to be in service of the Kingdom of God but cannot find a place in our Church," Sister said. "Gifted though some may be, they cannot bring their talents to the tables of decision making and pastoral planning. They must go elsewhere to be of service in building the Kingdom of God. In 1974, at the Synod on Evangelization, one of our sisters, Margaret Mary, was one of two nuns appointed from the Union of Superiors General. Today, forty years later, we are three”.
Lucetta Scaraffia, professor of Modern History at the University of Rome, implored the Church to listen to women because it is only in reciprocal listening that true discernment functions.
“Women are great experts in the family: leaving abstract theories behind, we can turn in particular to women to understand what must be done, and how we can lay the foundations for a new family open to respect for all its members, no longer based on the exploitation on the capacity for sacrifice of the woman, but instead ensuring emotional nourishment and solidarity for all. . . . Families throughout the world are very diverse, but in all of them the women play the most important and decisive role in guaranteeing their solidity and duration.
"And when we speak about families, we should not speak always and only about marriage. There is a growing number of families composed of a single mother and her children. It is almost always women who stay by their children's side, even when they are ill, disabled or afflicted by violence. These women and mothers have seldom followed courses in theology, and often they are not even married, but they offer an admirable example of Christian behavior.”
She continued: “If you, Synod Fathers, do not pay attention to them, if you do not listen to them, you risk making them feel even more disgraced as their family is so different to the one you focus on. Indeed, you talk too readily of an abstract family, a perfect family that does not exist, a family that has nothing to do with the real families Jesus encountered or spoke about. Such a perfect family would almost seem not to be in need of His mercy or His Word: 'I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance'”.
The issue of mixed marriages was also addressed by Rev. Fr. Garas Boulos Garas Bishay, pastor of St. Mary of Peace in Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt, warned about how Muslim men are permitted to marry outside the faith, which means many families are being forced to deal with “mixed morals and a dual cultural and religious affiliation”, he said.
“It should not be forgotten that Islamic law permits polygamy and the Koran obliges the parents to provide an Islamic education for the children. There is a profoundly different cultural and religious anthropology that may easily give rise to serious crises within the couple, even leading to irreparable fractures and grave consequences for the children”.
Maria Harries, Chair of Catholic Social Services in Australia, spoke about cultural diversity as well as her forty years of work with victims of the sexual abuse of children.
“[A]ll sexual abuse is connected to the abuse of power,” she said. “The horrific evidence of abuse of children in families and institutions and our failure to respond adequately to this has left the Church in Australia and of course elsewhere in very deep pain. … In the words of Pope Francis, as we all pray for and 'receive the grace of shame', we need local and collective ways of meeting all these victims and their families and each other in our garden of agony and to listen deeply, very deeply. From our failings and the accompanying pain, we have the opportunity to learn collectively and perhaps even doctrinally, and to re-engage with and accompany the thousands of families whom we have lost.”
Massimo and Patrizia Paloni, a married couple from Rome and members of the Neocatechumenal Way who are the parents of twelve children are currently serving the Church in Holland to announce the Gospel to the “existential peripheries of Europe”. The Palonis expressed their gratitude to Blessed Paul VI for the encyclical Humanae Vitae, which helped them understand that “responsible parenthood is not about deciding the number of children, but rather about being aware of the greatness of the vocation to collaborate with God in the creation of sons and daughters for eternity”.
They added: “[E]very day around us we see suffering, separations, abortions, and lonely people without hope. The world is awaiting the witness of the Christian family, and we are convinced that the salvation of humanity is through the Christian family. … The Christian community saves the family, and the family saves the Church.”
One of the most moving statements came from the Marqus-Odeesho couple who spoke on behalf of Iraqi Christians of Nineveh who were forced out of their homes, jobs, possession and schools almost overnight during the ISIS takeover of their lands.
“The new experience was very harsh”, they said. “Only the words of our Lord Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew – 'Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven' – console us and relieve our wounds; thus we started to hear testimonies of some displaced families giving their experience, saying that despite the suffering and harshness of displacement, getting closer to the Church helped them alot and they started to feel that their faith was strengthening and maturing, and they began sharing in spiritual activities. …”
But the suffering of these Christians is far from over. “Today the challenges continue through events such as kidnapping, bombing, robbery and terror,” they said. “But in spite of this situation there are still many families who are committed to their land and their Church, giving testimony to their faith without realizing that this persecution will bring a lot of good to the Church of Christ, as it did for the early Church, in spreading the good news.”
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