While older women are better able to understand the importance of self-respect and to know how to ignore the seemingly perfect women found only in magazines, a new study has found that younger woman are still struggling to cope with negative feelings about themselves.

PsychTests AIM, Inc., an organization that provides psychological assessment products to professionals around the world, conducted an analysis of 7,287 women who took their Emotional Intelligence Test and found a distinct disparity between how younger and older women feel about themselves.

“While self-esteem can be rather fragile in youth, as women age they are more likely to understand the importance of self-respect, of asserting themselves, of knowing the difference between destructive and constructive criticism and how to put it to use,” PsychTests reports. “They also know not to put much stock in glossy magazines displaying seemingly perfect bodies, or to allow the media to dictate how they should feel about themselves. For younger women, however, these are lessons that still need to be learned.”

As a result, there is quite a difference between the self-esteem of younger vs. older women:

• 13% of women under the age of 40 don’t believe there is anything that makes them special (compared to 8% of women over 40).

• 22% of women under the age of 40 harshly criticize and/or insult themselves when they make a mistake or fail (compared to 11% of women over 40).

• 23% of women under the age of 40 don’t feel confident about a decision unless others approve of it; 18% would rather have someone else make their decisions (compared to 11% and 6% of women over 40, respectively).

• 43% of women under the age of 40 are not comfortable asking for want they want, like a raise, time off, etc. (compared to 32% of women over 40).

• 21% of women under the age of 40 feel threatened when dealing with someone who is very assertive (compared to 15% of women over 40).

• 19% of women under the age of 40 change their attitude, behavior, or appearance in order to please others (compared to 10% of women over 40).

• 35% of women under the age of 40 have a hard time recognizing their strengths (compared to 18% of women over 40).

• 30% of women under the age of 40 constantly doubt themselves (compared to 17% of women over 40).

• 32% of women under the age of 40 panic when assigned a task that is even just slightly above their capabilities (compared to 16% of women over 40).

• 33% of women under the age of 40 suffer from “imposter syndrome” (the belief that they don’t deserve success/did not earn their accomplishments) and worry that others will see them as a fraud (compared to 18% of women over 40).

• 15% of women under the age of 40 are not satisfied with their work unless someone else praises it (compared to 6% of women over 40).

“We need to teach girls from a young age that their sense of worth is not tied into their looks or their accomplishments,” explains Dr. Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests.

“It comes from a recognition that they are special simply for being who they are, for having the courage to be themselves. Self-esteem must be established at a very young age, as this particular trait can determine everything from the way a woman dresses to who she dates and the career path she chooses. Self-esteem is really the core of who we are, and is the basis from which we make every decision.”

She correctly surmises that part of the reason why young women still struggle with their self-esteem has a lot to do with the media.

“Every decade, the concept of ‘beauty’ changes, and women, particularly younger ones, desperately try to adapt. What ends up happening is that women who don’t fit the ideal – and even those who do, but don’t recognize it – are left feeling like they’re not good enough. This results in a highly fragile and highly volatile self-esteem.”

She continues: “But self-esteem goes beyond self-image, so it spreads into other aspects of our life. It’s a representation of how we feel about ourselves as a whole, and a weak self-esteem is a major impediment. Fortunately, this is a trait that can be developed and nurtured. It’s also important to note that self-esteem is often inextricably tied in with emotional intelligence – if you work on one, you’ll likely see improvement in the other.”

For this reason, one of the most important components in programs for teen girls should be about how to cope with the unrealistic beauty trends of our day in order to become more comfortable in their own skin.

As we teach in Young Women of Grace, discovering our femininity can be fun and exciting, but we can’t forget that being a woman is more than just looking like one. What kind of woman we are on the inside is much more important not just to God, but to those who need the kind of love and nurturing that can only be found in the feminine genius that is uniquely ours.

“This is why it’s so important to present ourselves in a way that will enable people to see our heart and not just our bodies,” the study informs.

This teaches girls to find the good in themselves by looking someplace other than in the mirror. Simple tips such as these can go a long way to help our girls learn how to feel good about themselves for who they are rather than who the culture says they should be.

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