Blog Post

Man “Adopts” Woman’s Aborted Babies

By Susan Brinkmann, OCDS Staff Writer A California man has posthumously “adopted” two children who were aborted years earlier by his wife as a way to help her heal from the pain of the abortions. Stan Musil told that he filed the symbolic  “adoption” papers on April 20 in support of his wife Lisa who is now the head of a ministry devoted to helping women cope with the loss of abortion. "He told me 'I love you and you are a part of me. Your babies are a part of you, and so that makes them a part of me also,'" Lisa said. Mrs. Musil, now 45 years old, had her first abortion at 19 while living with her boyfriend in Southern California. She told Assist News Service (ANS) that she was terrified at the time and had no one to talk to about the dilemma. “I had my whole life ahead of me,” she said. “I felt there was nothing else I could do.” She was almost three months pregnant when she had the abortion. But instead of feeling relief, she was deeply afflicted by the thought of what she had done. “I felt such agonizing pain in my heart that I tried to cover it by becoming involved in drugs, alcohol, partying, and a promiscuous lifestyle,” Lisa said. “My life spiraled out of control and although I didn’t realize it at the time, I was on a path toward destruction that would last for years.” Lisa later discovered that she was pregnant for a second time which was complicated by the fact that she also on her way to jail because of a drunk driving conviction. “This time it was a different man, a different father and I could not even say the word ‘abortion.’ I preferred to describe the pregnancies as ‘terminated,’” she said.   But during these dark years she often sensed God calling her name. One evening in 1988, her brother took her to Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa where a pastor invited the congregation to come forward and give their life to Jesus. That night, Lisa decided to answer the call. Her life turned around from that point on. As she grew in faith, she also sought to deal with the pain of her destructive lifestyle, especially her two abortions. “It wasn’t instant and it wasn’t easy, but I came to realize how much God loved me and that he also offered me forgiveness for what I had done.” Lisa was determined to do things right this time and to find a healthy relationship with the right man-a Christian man. He turned out to be Stan, an Elder at Harvest Christian Fellowship who was also the overseer of the singles ministry there. They met at a singles retreat and after a 13 month courtship Stan and Lisa married nearly 7 years ago. Stan has been fully supportive of Lisa’s ministry, White as Snow, which helps women in crisis pregnancies as well as men and women who are dealing with the pain of abortion. "It’s been a desire of mine to establish a memorial where post-abortive women can go to have the names of their aborted children engraved to honor their remembrance," Lisa said. "As this is coming to fruition, I was wondering what last name I would put on this memorial, and my sweet husband asked if we could find some way he could legally adopt my babies and then they could take his name." Upon hearing about Stan's idea, a local radio host, Rich Buhler, put the Musil's in touch with adoption law expert and Nightlite Christian Adoptions Executive Director Rod Stoddart. "I explained that it's not possible from a legal standpoint, because there's no birth certificate and no child living now to be adopted," Stoddart told "But from an emotional standpoint, there's no reason why we could not do an agreement between them where he would adopt those children and give them his name." Stoddart drafted paperwork that reflected the Musils' desire for the adoption before each other, God and witnesses, which the couple signed on Buhler's radio show. Stoddart said he's since received several requests from other couples looking to do the same. "I feel it's given them a lot of comfort. It's something they're in together now," Stoddart said. When the intended memorial is erected at Pierce Brothers Crestlawn Memorial Park in Riverside, Calif., it will include the names the Musils gave the aborted fetuses — Alicia Anne Musil and Vincent Matthew Musil. © All Rights Reserved, Living His Life Abundantly/Women of Grace.