Margalita Poletunow, LPC, LPCMHThere is something to be grateful for all the time. However, it is not human nature to feel thankful during difficult or painful situations. Therefore, how can a woman who has suffered a miscarriage or stillbirth find the will to be thankful while still grieving?
by Margalita Poletunow, LPC, LMHCHere are some of the justifications that women provide for keeping their miscarriages or their infertility journey private.
by Margalita Poletunow, LPCDuring a consultation, a woman, whom I will refer to as Jane, told me that she was pursuing therapy because she was “desperate for a child”. Jane revealed that after being unable to become pregnant for years her doctor recommended IVF because it was the best way for her to have a baby. Jane was very excited at the prospect and sincerely believed that it was the answer to her problems. She was able to get pregnant, twice. Sadly, she miscarried both pregnancies. Jane was heartbroken, dejected, and baffled at the outcomes of the IVF procedures. She cried out to me: “What’s wrong with me? Why does this keep happening to me? I was so sure IVF would work. I would do anything to have a baby!”
by Margalita Poletunow, MA, LPC, LPCMHDuring pregnancy, certain medical issues beyond the woman’s control can lead to the death of the child before it is born. The baby will die, for example, if a woman has a miscarriage, a stillbirth, or an ectopic pregnancy to mention a few.
Margalita Poletunow, LMHCWhen facing miscarriage or infertility the feelings such as confusion, shock, frustration, irritability, or for the woman to see herself as having less value than other “fertile women” may make sense. A woman may begin to internalize statements such as “God does not love me or does not care for me. Surely He knows that I am open to life, to be fruitful, to raise children and He has not made it happen.” These initial feelings are expected because a woman never dreamed of having reproductive challenges.
by Margalita Poletunow, LPCMHWhile facing miscarriage and infertility, are you struggling with setting New Year’s resolutions?
by Margalita Poletunow, LPCMHFrom the beginning of Advent and throughout the Christmas season, a woman facing infertility challenges or who has experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth may be filled with sadness and sorrow. At a time when all around her is brimming with excitement and joy, she may be bracing herself to swim against the waves of loneliness and a sense of emptiness. While family and friends may expect her to display the same seasonal euphoria as others around her, her heart may be aching over a desire that is unfulfilled or a baby that has died too soon.
Photo by Danie Franco on UnsplashMargalita Poletunow, MA, LPC, LPCMH
From an early age, most women are dreaming of having a family one day. From the time of their puberty, they have been told that God has designed their bodies to carry and birth a baby. Imagine years later when that woman is married, bubbling with excitement when she becomes pregnant, only to hear from her medical provider the most heartbreaking news: there is no heartbeat! You are having a miscarriage!
