We love sharing the inspiring stories from our Sacred Sisters of their experiences with Women of Grace. Today we're hearing from Donnamarie. If you would like to share your story, click here! Stay tuned for regular testimonial stories.
"As I made the drive from MA to PA so I could attend my first Women of Grace retreat, I was bursting with excitement! The theme, 'Embracing the Holy Duet: Mary and the Holy Spirit', felt like a gift, one that happened to coincide with my birthday. My sister had been talking to me about Women of Grace for many years. But other than listening to Johnnette Benkovic Williams, the Founder of Women of Grace, on EWTN radio, this sacred sisterhood was foreign to me.
'It’s a spa for the soul,' my sister would often say about attending these retreats. So, what better birthday present to give myself than time with both our Blessed Mother and my sister? Living away from family is hard. So, knowing my sister was attending with her Women of Grace friends from Florida made this event even more special for me. What a bonus, I thought, getting time with my sister and the larger Women of Grace community in what I’ve come to know as one of the most spiritually soothing places on earth, the Malvern Retreat Center.
What I couldn’t anticipate was that a dark cloud would descend over me without warning before I arrived, threatening, as dark clouds do, to take all the joy out of this weekend. Storms come and go in our life but this was a big one. And yet in that darkness, there was a light… God had indeed put me where I needed to be. I just did not realize it yet.
I met my sister and her friends at check-in but wasn’t feeling the excitement anymore. I put on a happy face but was feeling broken inside. How was I going to get through the weekend with this storm in my path? I pulled my sister aside and shared my storm… and she hugged me tightly, in a way I needed. As we made our way through the lush grounds to our simple rooms there was a life-sized statue of Jesus, wearing a red robe, crowned with thorns and looking somberly down at me right outside my room. My healer, my protector, my light, right outside my door. It was if he was guarding over me… holding back this storm.
My room was also on the floor with an adoration chapel at the end of our hallway, and it was open 24 hours...truly another source of consolation for me, just steps away. Again, God indeed knew of this time and place and put me where I needed to be. We rushed off to opening mass but I was too distracted to pray or even focus on the beautiful readings and music that were to set the tone for this incredible retreat.
We had a nice fellowship dinner where I met women on various faith journeys, women sharing stories of why they were attending. I could feel the love for our Blessed Mother in many of them. I knew I wanted, and needed, that feeling. During dinner, Johnnette and her staff gave us a rundown of the event. Ahead was a jam-packed weekend of talks, fellowship, praise and worship. But still, I was too preoccupied with my dark cloud to enjoy any of it.
After dinner I attended the first talk: Mary and the Holy Spirit and the Glorious Age Yet to Come. Here, Johnnette spoke about wounds of the heart and the power of forgiveness. She reminded me, 'I am a daughter of God' and she shared her acronym for HOPE: H-Hold on, O-Own the challenge, P- Persevere in patience and prayer, E-Expect God to intervene. Wow! God was throwing me a lifeline to pull me out of despair.
We were closing in on 8:30pm when the talk ended and while others went for more fellowship, my sister, seeing how preoccupied I was with my situation, suggested we walk the grounds. At night the 125 rolling acres are illuminated in various areas, creating a spiritual sanctuary under the stars. We passed the softly lit bronzed replica of Our Lady of Guadalupe first, one of the seven shrines dedicated to our lady, before making our way deep in the woods to Our Lady of Lourdes Grotto. My sister went right up to the wooden kneeler just a few feet from our lady to pray, while I walked around admiring this sacred shrine.
I was immediately soothed by the sounds of the babbling brook, and the beautiful moonlit statue surrounded by dark stone, and was reminded of what Johnnette had said earlier that night. 'God asks for our weakness so he can take it away and fill us up,' she had stated. My anxiety and fear were indeed weaknesses I needed to overcome…. And I knew that only through God good things can happen.
My sister knew I was in pain and encouraged me to get on that kneeler and pray, pray to our Blessed Mother, the one who can bring our petitions right to her son. I knelt there for over 15 minutes, weeping at times, and pouring out my heart in prayer. And as I did, I could feel our Lady wrap her mantle of love around me and remind me I was not alone. She was beside me all the way. As my sister and I made our way out of that tranquil, moonlit grotto, I was so thankful to be at such a place of healing. Once again, God had put me just where I needed to be.
Day two of the retreat fell on my birthday so I got up early to enjoy the Malvern sunrise and spend time in quiet prayer. There are so many places on the grounds to just sit, reflect and pray… I needed that to keep my storm at bay. I tried to really focus on the sessions of the day and be present.
In one session, Thomas K. Sullivan spoke about Embracing the Holy Duet on the Battlefield of Life. As a former naval officer, he knew about battle. He stated, 'Life is a battlefield, yet we never go it alone.' Boy did those words ring true for me! When we call on the Holy Spirit we are getting Mary too. He challenged us to be mini-Marys… to pick up our rosaries as every bead is like an atom bomb of grace. I knew then that I definitely needed to spend some time with my rosary in hand to ask for the divine graces to get me through this tough time in my life.
Luckily, I had the sprawling grounds of Malvern as a divine backdrop to do just that. I walked off again with my sister and we found the replica of the Pieta. Nestled in the woods, this large white statue bathed in sunlight gave us time to reflect on Mary’s own sorrow as she held her son after the crucifixion. It was so impactful for both of us, as we were each mothers of only sons!
Next, we came upon the Shrine of our Lady of Fatima, where many retreat goers lay rosaries around our lady’s prayerful hands. We sat at this healing shrine and said a rosary together with intentions specific to my situation. I could feel my burdens lifting thanks to these pray-filled grounds. We also prayed at the miraculous medal shrine… another reminder of a collective devotion to our Blessed Mother… before heading back to the group.
By then, I was feeling like I could actually get through this storm. And my sister’s beautiful Women of Grace friends from Florida, women whom I had just met a day before, embraced me and lifted me up when I needed it most. They even held a little birthday celebration for me under the stars, a celebration that I will never forget!
On the morning of the last day of the retreat though, I awoke feeling the storm rising again. I was dreading leaving this place of peace and serenity… of leaving Malvern. So I parked myself in the adoration chapel at the end of our hallway and gazed upon our Lord. I somehow knew that it wasn’t a coincidence that this chapel was not only in my building but on my floor. It was the Lord’s way of reminding me to bring my pain to him. He would sustain me. And I needed that message on that day.
During breakfast, I exchanged phone numbers with many of my new sacred sisters. It was awesome to know these women would be in my life forever. One, in particular, became my co-facilitator of the foundational study I took online, and this truly deepened our friendship and the love we have for each other.
As we gathered for our last talk, Johnnette reminded us to pray and pray, and to pray specifically to ask, 'Lord let your word take a place in my heart and grow abundantly.' She shared another acronym which I just loved for the word BLESS: B-Be who we are (daughters of Christ) L-Listen ( to scripture, the Holy Spirit, pray) E- Equip yourself (With Rosaries, Eucharist, Scripture) S- Suit up (your sword is faith, life is a battlefield, smite that serpent) S- Sacrifice (through fasting and prayer). These valuable insights would be extremely useful as I tried to navigate the storm as I returned home. I was so grateful for all the tools and guidance Women of Grace had provided!
As we got to the close of the retreat, Johnnette led us in the Women of Grace theme song and I remember being around all these women, most with their hands outstretched to God, singing with huge smiles on their faces… 'We are Women of Grace round the throne of the Lord most high, and we lift of our praise from the depths of our souls, hear our cry...' I started to weep. I did not know the words like most of the ladies. Yes, there was a printed version on my seat, but these ladies had the lyrics memorized. One of my sister’s friends asked me why I was crying, and I told her, 'I want what you have… I want to be a Women of Grace.' She looked at me and said, 'You’ll be a sacred sister soon, and this song will be etched on your heart, I just know it.'
She was right… just three years later, during COVID, I attended a virtual Women of Grace foundational study. I am currently part of a zoom rosary group with my sacred sisters from that study, and I am happy to say I have the WOG theme song etched on my heart forever. We had a little time before my sister had to catch her plane home to Florida and I needed to hit the road back to Massachusetts. So we took to exploring more of the grounds at Malvern. I honestly did not want to leave this place that offered so much consolation for my hurting heart.
We meandered in the woods to discover the unique Stations of the Cross walk. Each station had a different mosaic displaying our Lady’s remembrance of her son’s final day. This led us to 'The Overlook,' a stair studded reflection area that offered a birds eye view of the Grotto of Our Lady… where it all began for me that first night. You could still hear the waters of the brook among the chirping birds...so tranquil and healing. I can’t express how being immersed in God’s beauty amid nature at Malvern not only helped deepen my relationship with Him but offered so much consolation.
St. Theresa Benedicta of the Cross reminds us, 'With every joy there is a cross and with every cross there is joy.' I could not have imagined the joy that was to come with such a heavy cross! But being at Malvern as my storm arose really changed my trajectory for the better. And though undoubtedly there will be more storm clouds to come, I am now more focused on a brighter horizon than ever before.
Back in July of 2018, I doubted the power of prayer and did not really understand the depth of Mary’s intercession. But now, through Women of Grace and what I am calling my Miracle at Malvern, I do."
- Donnamarie
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